I am not really a voyeur, but I tend to flip through (in
case of our generation, Facebook albums) images of others and try to imagine
myself in their lives. I will try not to sound creepy as I say this, but I try
to imagine how they would have felt at that precise moment when the shutterbug
clicked. I wonder is she really that happy or was she pretending, was he
smiling just for the camera or was it genuine. I do not know why but seeing
others in their 'lives' makes me feel even emptier.
It makes me think how empty my life is. There is really no
actual sense of happiness. I have to see others smile and laugh to feel
something within me. And, that is just so utterly sad. I want to have what they
are having too. Or, is it just the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe,
all of this is just an illusion, there is no true happiness and we are all
chasing some un-endable destination.
They say it is not the destination but the journey that
matters. I used to believe in that a lot, actually I still do. But, sometimes
the journey becomes so unbearable. I mean, honestly I would love to know
something about my future, something that tells me that everything will be
alright kid. Maybe, all of us want the same thing. Maybe all those pictures,
all those smiles, are actually saying, I am scared for my now and for my later,
but I think if I smile everything will be ok.