WOW it has been a while! I mean a WHILE! This year has been quite eventful. So much to write about. Where do I start? Well, when the year started I had a planned out my next 5 years. I had started my second Master’s. This time in Informational Technology. While doing that I was working at a marketing agency where I loved to go every single day because I had made some great friends there. This was January this year. I was just basically a happy person who knew what was going to happen next. Then, things took a drastic 180 turn. I do not want to go into much details but I had to suddenly leave Irvine, a place I had started calling home. I had to stop my studies and hop on the next plane back to India. Luckily the company I was working with agreed to let me continue working with them remotely. Otherwise I would have really been depressed. It’s one thing to suddenly not know what to do next, it’s another to leave everything and everyone you have come to love in an instance. It’s been almost 6 months since I am back in Kolkata. Things haven’t progressed as I had hoped they would. I mean of course knowing me, you would know, I had already planned out my next moves while sitting on that reaaaally long flight to Kolkata.
I am definitely not happy about my progress but I am willing to forgive and move on. As dramatic as it will sound it has been difficult to come back to a city I feel no connection with. I know it’s only been 2 years since I left. But, I left a lot of people behind. I have cut off many relationships that needed to be gone. Most of my friends have left the city and those left have moved on with their lives. They welcomed me with open arms but it is not the same. They have their own lives and I do not fit in them as well as I used to. I mean I knew that would be the case anyway. I had gotten used to waking up early and going to bed early. Now, I work at night and sleep at around 6 am since I work remotely with an American company. I do not find this new adjustment good for my mental health and of course physical health as well. But, one has to do what one must.
Not everything is dark though. I am extremely happy to be back with my mom. It has been great being able to go back to our chit chat sessions. I love meeting my friends when we can, and talking for hours. We have moved to a new area and it is green everywhere. There are hardly any houses here. Though the air pollution makes my lungs cry, my eyes rejoice at the green artwork all around me. You would think there being so much greenery the air pollution would be less here. NOPE!
This year had started with a very sure and hopeful ME and yes it has been kind of rough going through one change after the other. It has been a lonely journey sometimes. Because you are the only one going through it. But, as I always say I am extremely lucky to have supportive people around me at all times. I might not know what will happen tomorrow but I now know, I am ready to start over as many times as needed. This journey is mine and I am ready to enjoy every second of it.
I want to start some of my old habits and start a few new ones. I want to record it here every single day but my track record has been dismal so, ahem, excuse me about that. I want to do this for myself and no one else. I love to write, yes I have become super rusty but I feel like writing my thoughts down so my mind has room for more.
Let’s do this and if you want to come along my journey, welcome! :)
Tata!