Happy Birthday, Thamma!
'Thamma' in Bengali means grandmother. I used to call my paternal grandmother ‘thamma’; today is her birthday.
I have been reflecting on life a lot in the past few weeks (apparently, job searches can do that). Not just to understand what life skills I can put on my resume but to understand who I want to be in the future. Since we are young, we are told to follow a set life path; education, more studying, job, job, job, marriage, kids, and bye-bye.
In the pursuit of living life, we forget to pursue happiness. What makes one happy? Rather what makes me happy? It has been a more challenging question to answer than I initially thought.
And, then, deep down, I heard a familiar voice I hadn’t heard in oh so long. It is my thamma’s. She taught me a vital lesson: happiness comes from seeing others happy. My grandmother was a teacher and the principal of a high school. She was universally loved. I have yet to meet someone as generous and loving as she was. She showed more through her actions than her words, and I think somewhere deep down, seeing that I imbibed some of it. (or I hope so)
I learned empathy from her. She always told me, “put yourself in their shoes because you never know what someone is going through.” I am not perfect, but I try to live by that as much as possible.
It has been 18 years since I lost her, yet even today, I feel like that 16-year-old whose life came crashing down, knowing her first teacher, guide, and best friend was no more.
But today is about celebrating her and her legacy. I may not be where I want to be, but then I always remember the other lesson she taught my sister and me. “Always take the first step and then the next, and soon you will reach your destination. If you skip a step, you will only fall down.”
Such simple lessons of life yet so tricky to implement; have faith, be patient, and always be empathetic.
I sometimes wonder if she will be proud of the work I do or the career I am trying to build. Then I remember she would be proud regardless of the title I hold or the money I make. She would be happy because I am happy.
I miss you and love you, and I hold all your teachings dear to my heart.