No matter the time,
the distance,
the long hours of therapy.
Some scars may never heal.
You can tell yourself,
you are fine.
But, are you really?
All you can do
is keep moving,
because stopping doesn’t take away the pain.
But, it does weaken it greatly.
Some scars may never heal,
but remain as marks of a warrior,
who fought internal wars and external battles,
and won and survived.
Some scars may never heal,
but,
You are bigger than your scars.
That’s what my grandmother used to tell me all the time. She thought putting oil helps regulate the body temperature, keeps one calm and make one super intelligent.
Well, I am not so sure oils can be that miraculous but it does help the hair become soft. Today I had a home spa day. I oiled my hair with my mom’s magic oil (remind me to get the recipe, it’s amazing, I see tiny hairlings popping up where once was a tiny bald patch), gave myself a manicure and even put on a face mask.
Self-care is so important. I never realised that until I started doing that regularly last year. I mean when I was much younger I used to take a care of myself a lot more, but mostly because my grandmother would make me. But, I fell out of habit. Mostly because I had this weird thought in my head that people who take of self are somehow “hoity-toity”. I do not know even know where I got that thought from, but there it was planted deep in my being that taking care of the self, especially in the form of hair spas and face masks is somehow bad.
It was in 2018, a colleague of mine made me see the light. She made me understand how important it is to take care of the skin especially once you are nearing your 30s or on the other side of it. She made me see that it is not a selfish act but can be a beautiful routine that can only take a few minutes in the day and not only does your skin feel great as a result but you also get some much needed ‘me’ time.
I often thank her for putting this beautiful idea in my head. I love my face masks and skincare products. I used to feel guilty spending on any of it before. I have no idea why. I used to feel it was a waste of money or somehow I am being selfish. A sense of guilt would always creep up as if I am doing something wrong.
Yes, some of the products I now use are on the pricier side but I love each one of them. No, I do not have a 13 step routine. It’s simple and it’s very me.
The strangest thing is I realised my mother had the same thoughts as me. She would put whatever cream (some not even face cream) she found laying around. Only if all the stray ones are over, she would go and buy something new, something meant for her. She would usually go for baby cream, I always found that so adorable. I once asked her the reason and she said she feels her skin is sensitive and she knows baby creams aren’t harsh. So, by her logic that was all she needed. I also realised though she barely had any wrinkles and had moderately clear skin (she is 61 mind you) her skin was always dry and sometimes flaky.
She did moisturise every day but not with what she needed. Having realised that she most probably has been using the wrong products for her skin type, I decided to take the matter in own my hands. I started buying the skin care products that were meant only for her. But, she would refuse, saying she feels guilty that she is wasting my money.
Like mother, like daughter, eh?
Well, I am happy to report both of us now love our daily routines and have healthy skin.
Why do we have to feel guilty when all we want to do is take care of ourselves? If we live within our means, why can self-care be not part of our daily life?
So, many questions…so little time.
