Daily 2018

2018 Chapter I Section 9

Let's not talk about it

Today wasn't the best for me mentally. I think as much as I want to not overthink my current situation I feel a little suffocated with the pressure of studies and looking for work. 

I did study as much as I had hoped for. But, I just sometimes feel like why am I doing all this? Will these bear any fruit at all? 

Anyway, hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. I know I just have to face my fears and keep at it as I am doing every single day! 

Tata! 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 
    • Cals Out: N/A
    • Steps: N/A
    • Miles: N/A
    • Dance: 0 mins
    • Others: 0mins
  • Food: 
    • Breakfast: N/A 
    • Lunch: N/A  
    • Snack: N/A
    • Dinner: N/A 
  • Eating: Keto
    • Cals In: N/A
    • Fat: N/A
    • Protein: N/A
    • Net Carbs: N/A
  • Sleep: 6.2 hrs
  • Study: Started with Percentage & Interest.  
  • Read: The Hate U Give (1/52)
  • Feeling: Still feeling lost. 

2018 Chapter I Section 8

Not a good day

Today I struggled with panic attacks. Fortunately, right now I have it under control. 

I was feeling very overwhelmed. I haven't slept properly for a while and I think everything kind of built up. I am trying to study for GMAT and I feel like I am letting my fear of exams get to me. 

Then, with the job search not going as well as I had hoped for, I started feeling quite pressurized. And, I realized all of it is in my head. I mean honestly, a lot of what I am trying to do now is not really in my hand. I can prepare for the worst and hope for the best. But, at the end of the day, I cannot control a lot of the things involved in either my job search or college applications. 

I think it took me some time to realize it. I am lucky I have friends who helped me see that and currently at 1:30 am in the morning I am trying hard to concentrate on studying hard and not thinking about the eventual events of life. 

I had a very bad eating day. I let my inner emotions get to me. Also, I did zero exercises. The only thing that I liked about today: I finally slept. I took a very long nap in the evening and I felt quite like me after that. 

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. I have to remember to not be so critical of myself all the time. I tell others to not to do it but sometimes forget to follow my own advice. 

Until tomorrow! 

Tata! 

 

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 
    • Cals Out: N/A
    • Steps: N/A
    • Miles: N/A
    • Dance: 0 mins
    • Others: 0mins
  • Food: 
    • Breakfast: N/A 
    • Lunch: N/A  
    • Snack: N/A
    • Dinner: N/A 
  • Eating: Keto
    • Cals In: N/A
    • Fat: N/A
    • Protein: N/A
    • Net Carbs: N/A
  • Sleep: 3.5 hrs
  • Study: Finishing up the cheat sheet videos. 
  • Read: The Hate U Give (1/52)
  • Feeling: Feeling a little lost. 

2018 Chapter I Section 7

A little late but still a start

The first Sunday of 2018! So, I took a bit of time off writing in the latter half of last year and also in the first few days of this one. And, it was worth it. I have a lot going on and yet I feel like I am standing still. I am looking for work, trying to further my studies (I am thinking about a second Masters and trying for it) and definitely making sure I am healthier than before. It has been a struggle sometimes to lose weight and eat right. When things don't go well I always depend on food to make me feel better. I want to change that. I want to be my own support system. 

I have been trying a new way of eating: Ketogenic diet. I know there is a lot of controversies around it and initially, I was very apprehensive about it. I have to say till now it has been the most successful way of eating for me. I am less hungry and more focused. I have been able to finally go under 179 lbs in 3 years and stay there. I have had my own bit of struggle with it, but I am back at it strong. One of the things I do not like about this way of eating is that I end up eating a lot of meat and dairy products. But, slowly and steadily I have been switching over to the plant-based alternatives. One of my goals in 2018 is to eat more plant-based foods. This is not only for health reasons but I want to leave less of a bad carbon footprint. 

I have also started Intermittent Fasting. It was a struggle, a true struggle but with time I have realized because of IF I eat less junk food now. I am more aware of what I am putting in my mouth and when. Earlier I had a habit of eating chips and chocolates at 1 or 2 in the morning. But, because of the specific times, I can eat, I eat better and get the right calories in. 

I tried different forms of exercise last year; from interval training to running to swimming but I couldn't sustain any of them, and I realized because I never addressed my back issues or other health issues. And, though I would start strong with my exercises, I would inevitably fall sick. This year my plan is to start slow and maintain. Thanks to my chiropractor my back pain is minimal and I sleep better. I want to start slow with walking. I also realized I love to dance and music always makes me happy. So, I have decided to dance for 10 mins every morning right after I wake up. I have done it for a few days and that has been a good experiment. I end up happier throughout the day.

So, basically this year I will continue to improve upon all the healthy habits and knowledge I started and accumulated last year! 

Last year was good. It definitely did not go as planned and that is fine. I met some exceptional people from all over the world. And, I cannot be more thankful. This has been one of the most eye-opening experiences in my life. Seeing the same things from a different perspective can be such a revelation.

I have realized my worth and I have realized I do not need to feel worthy through other's words. My actions speak for them. I have cut off a few people from my life, people who at one point in my life made sense, made me happy but I feel their presence in my life now is more harmful. 

This is a big year for me as I turn 30 and I have a short bucket list, that I want to go through (I will try putting some of them in this blog, some are too private for me to share here, though I am pretty sure I am the only one who reads my blog).

In general, I want to be happy this year and make sure I make others happy. I do not know where I will be at the end of the year. I do not know if I will be able to do all that I want to. I do not know if I will be successful in my endeavors but I know at every single moment I can choose happiness and that is exactly what I wish to do. 

I also want to be a lot more mindful of others and the world in general. I want to give as much as possible for me at the moment and I want to be aware of my surroundings. I am slowly switching to a more minimalistic approach to life, I have started having more plant-based foods and switching to products which are homemade and more natural. I know I cannot go cold turkey overnight but I can choose to keep making these small changes this year. 

A few goals I have for myself this year: 

  • Lose the excess weight I have been carrying around for a while now. It's time to treat my body with more respect and give it the right nutrients. 
  • Read more and read things out of my comfort zone. Goal is to read 52 books this year. 
  • Meet more people. Be more social. 
  • Help out more, in whatever small way I can. 
  • Write every single day (yes, I know I have missed the first 6 days already, but hey at least I started). I want to make this a memoir that I can go back to and read and be reminded of who I am, it seems sometimes I forget that. Also, I will be tracking a lot of my food and exercise and reading habits through this. I want to make it like my own one-stop shop diary.
  • Slowly change food habits to more plant-based. 
  • Be more environmentally aware. 
  • Learn more. Be it from books, online, from people, from college. I want to increase my knowledge. 
  • Learn a new language (I am currently trying to learn Spanish). 
  • Be Happy. There are too many reasons to become sad, angry, frustrated with life, others, the world, with yourself. But, I can choose happiness over everything else and that is what I want to do more. Everything on this list are just meant to make sure I achieve this last goal. I want to be happy and try and spread that happiness to others. 

Here is to you 2018, I am Ready for you! 

Let's do this! :) 

Tata!

TODAY'S CHECKLIST:

  • Exercise: 
    • Cals Out: 1838
    • Steps: 13,823
    • Miles: 5.45
    • Dance: 60 mins
    • Others: 0mins
  • Food: 
    • Breakfast: Fried Eggs (2), Sausage, 
    • Lunch: Roasted Chicken Thigh with Salad.  
    • Snack: String Cheese, Raspberries, Home Made Chocolate
    • Dinner: Ground Beef low carb taco.  
  • Eating: Keto
    • Cals In: 1515
    • Fat: 136 g (80%)
    • Protein: 61 g (16%)
    • Net Carbs: 17 g (4%)
  • Sleep: 5 hrs
  • Study: It's Sunday man! 
  • Read: The Hate U Give (1/52)
  • Feeling: Feeling ready, bring it on, 2018!