walk

2022 Chapter X Section XXVI

Routines keep my anxiety calm. 

I am a naturally anxious person. So if you tell me something, I can guarantee you that I will somehow find a way to overthink it and then, of course, go into an unnecessary spiral and finally tire myself out. 

2020 made it worse. I will not go into the various reasons why (I mean apart from the obvious one) as that will take up an entire day, so that will be for another day. 

I couldn’t understand how to keep my brain calm! Even when there was nothing to worry about, I would find something. My sweet mother witnessed most of my panic attacks, and, bless her soul, she tried to help me. 

Therapy helped a lot. A LOT! I highly recommend it. She taught me multiple ways to anticipate bouts of anxiety and tackle them. I practice them regularly. 

But my anxiety is quite powerful. Moving to a new country, looking for jobs, high cost of living, feeling lonely, etc., etc., etc...just added to the feeling of hopelessness. 

I spent weeks overthinking and anxious. No amount of meditation and pep talks seemed to help me. Then, lo and behold, I observed a pattern. 

Since moving to Toronto, I decided to walk around and explore the city more. I love long walks, which I feel is a great way to get to know a city. 

So, some days I would walk for 10-12kms roaming around the different neighbourhoods. 

Initially, I would feel drained because I barely ever walked in Kolkata. I would feel exhausted, but I always felt happy. On the days I didn’t walk, my happiness was less. So, I started walking more, 10,000 steps a day. I set a specific goal and decided that I needed to hit those steps every day, no matter how slowly I walked or at whatever time. 

I have been doing this for two months now, and yes, I have missed many days in between, but I feel less anxious now. I have also created small routines around my walk. And I love them. Some days can be very hard, but I know that once I start walking, I feel happier, and my mind calms down. I also listen to audiobooks or podcasts (true crime all the way!) and sometimes practice my French. 

My aim is to make this a daily habit, no matter what! This is definitely not a new discovery by any means, but to my anxious mind, this is the relief it craves. 

What helps with your anxiety?

2017 Chapter III Section 14

Super Tired Day 3

Oh my god, I have been so tired every day of the week. 

I wanted to sit down and write but by the time I get free to write, my brain gets all mushy! Sleep sleep, need more sleep!

From tomorrow, I have to make it a point to write, because I have so much to talk about. 

Till then, Tata! 

[P.S. Finally won my first Gym fight (Pokemon) and it made me so super happy! :D Also, I won a gym for an hour before I lost it. People are quite active here and that makes me happy! :)] 

Today's Checklist:

  • Exercise: 9442 Steps
  • Food:
    • Breakfast: Egg Whites, Veggies, Purple Corn Tortilla
    • Lunch: Pasta, Homemade sauce (super healthy)
    • Snack: Instant Noodles. 
    • Dinner: Salad, Diet Canada Dry
  • Study: Stanford (Building Business Models)
  • Read: None
  • Feeling: Tired but happy! :)