Of What Was and What Could Have Been!
[Technically It's the 26th, but I have something else planned for that day, so here goes, enjoy, my invisible blog reader!]
Of course the minute I decided I need to go back to being regular with my blog and life, my health hit me hard. There was nothing new in the thing that happened, the same old pain in the back, couldn't move, pain in the body, prolonged periods, you know the drill by now. I became an emotional mess thinking there is no escaping this loop. This is a part of my life now and the best thing to do is accept it and move on.
Thanks to my back pain I was barely mobile for a week, then it took another to bounce back completely. And in the mean time, my never ending periods gave me company. And, before you say anything, I am going to all the right doctors and doing everything money allows you to do. These are small annoying health issues which honestly seems to have no permanent solutions. But, one must go on.
Last week another thing happened which made me breakdown. Chester Bennington from Linkin Park passed away. I have never met him but his voice, his music has been a huge part of my life. My childhood was riddled with bullying and I used to go through bouts of depression. I do not think my family realized to what extent. For me listening to Linkin Park's music was an escape from reality into the world I wanted to build around me. The words from their songs resonated with me. I know this is the truth for many on earth but for me, it felt special. I didn't realize how much I was affected by the sad news, till I sat down and had a small breakdown. I think this news coupled with my already broken health had built up into an emotional ball of pure tears. Chester, your voice will always remain a guardian angel to me.
It's 3:42 am and I cannot stop my brain from thinking. I am thinking of my past, the people I have left behind, memories of a time that is gone; the good, the bad, the ugly. I feel so weak yet strong at the same time. I do not know if I am making any sense but I wrote something to clear the thoughts from my brain. I will post that tomorrow. For now, I will try to go to sleep. I have an extremely long day tomorrow.
Tata!
TODAY'S CHECKLIST:
- Exercise: HIIT (Soco) (Finally after two weeks)
- Food:
- Pre-Workout: None
- Post-Workout: None
- Lunch: In N Out!
- Snack: Peanut butter and Jam sandwich
- Dinner: Pasta
- Study: UCI.
- Read: Zero to One
- Feeling: Too many thoughts.