I have a very bad habit of starting something, getting very excited about it, planning everything out and then doing absolutely nothing about it. I am quite sure this is a very human thing to do. But, I feel it’s time to tackle all these ideas and plans which have been festering in me for the past few years.
Okay, so let’s be real, the current times are strange, they are scary and most importantly can take a toll on the mind. I will not lie it has definitely taken a toll on mine. I am one of the lucky ones to still have a job in these uncertain times but had to take a huge pay-cut, and it has definitely affected all my plans.
I am an avid planner and I usually have a few backup plans ready, because let’s be honest Plan A almost never works out. But, none of my plans could ever predict the current situation. I mean yes I was ready for a rainy day here and there. But, this is not a rainy day, it is a full season and more. I had some big life-altering plans for this year, you know the whole “2020 will be my year” thing. Well, that isn’t happening any time soon.
I know all of it sounds so negative and my title says “happiness”. Well, there is happiness. There is peace of mind. And, I found it in places I least expected to.
I wouldn’t call myself a gamer by any means. I used to play Doom and Call of Duty a lot when I was younger but never invested my time, money, or effort into anything else. I do watch a lot of twitch streams of others playing different games, anything from COD to Animal Crossing to The Last of Us (parts 1 & 2). I think because I cannot or do not play the games I really enjoy seeing others play it. Yes, I find it weird as well, but I enjoy watching them none the less.
Anyway, so when the lockdown began in India, a few of my closest friends and I found ourselves with more time in hand than we were used to and we decided to utilise that time to bond. We have been friends for years now but due to adulting and such, we do not talk as much as we used to. It took a pandemic to bring us all together (socially distanced in our homes in different parts of the country) to chat and play Ludo King for hours.
Yes, you read it right, Ludo King. I know almost everyone you know has been playing this game. It’s fun, it’s easy to play and it’s addictive. Every day we took out an hour or two and played. We chatted about anything and everything under the sun and moon. And, we finally caught up. It felt like we were kids again. Only we pay endless bills now and we worry about our futures.
We played the game seriously. And, I mean, very seriously. We made up tournaments and teams. We praised our teammates and accused the others of cheating, all in jest of course. It became the new normal. Every day without fail, we met online to talk about our days of cleaning the house, cooking something new and fancy and we played. Every day the latest Ludo champion would emerge victoriously and we all went to sleep feeling happy and content. It was fun and more importantly, for those brief moments, we forgot about the pandemic and the uncertain futures. We were all going through the same times, only in varying degrees, but we understood each other, we comforted each other, we became each other’s solace. I feel our already strong friendships became stronger.
If my friends are reading this, you know who you are and you know I love you. <3
As I mentioned before there are few places I found unexpected happiness, I will share more of those in the next blogs. I hope you find your happy place as well.
Stay safe.
So, I had meant to write about this a few months ago. Since I have worked from home most of my professional life, I thought let me write about it. And, then life happened and I basically got lazy and kept postponing it.
That brings us to now. Well, hmmm…the world is going through something horrible. Truly horrible and many fortunate people are now going to be working from home for a period of prolonged time for maybe the first time in their lives.
(I say fortunate because if you are reading this and get to work from home, you are blessed and privileged and thank your lucky stars.) (also didn’t mean to make it sound like I am scolding you, just saying many are without jobs right now or they have to be out there defending the world so we get to stay home. okay I am done.)
Since I have championed this cause of the working from home to the T, I thought maybe I can share some of the tips and tricks that have kept me going. No, I am not an expert in anything, also no you do not have to agree or follow any of them, but if you like what I suggest and follow them and find some benefit let me know. You know, like, share, comment and subscribe. Oh wait, that’s not this. Nevermind.
That is not your bed or the couch or the floor. The best possible scenario is if you have a study table with a comfortable chair in a different room, that is not your bedroom. This way there is a distinct division in your head of a workspace. If that is not possible use your dining table. Be creative. But, seriously one of the biggest mistakes most first time work from homers make, they work from the bed.
When I had initially started working from home, I used to work from my bed. A lot. Though I had a table. It was used for keeping my snacks. I used to be sleepy most of the time, feel very little motivation and worst of all, I would stay put in that same position for hours, sometimes days. I would only get up to go to the bathroom, eat and shower. The days blended into each other and sometimes I lost track of time. You do not want that.
This is very important, especially like me if you have odd work hours. I have worked remotely with American companies for years now and my work hours are usually at night. It is important you take the time and create a schedule for yourself. Umm…don’t be too ambitious. Keep it simple. We all know how much we really do in a day and stick to it as much as possible. Schedule in some ‘me’ time, social media time, workout time, and food time.
Okay, I do not mean like dress fancy, but if wearing work clothes make you feel like there is still some normalcy in your life, do it. I know it sounds silly but we are creatures of habit. So, if you make an effort to look and feel different than you do normally, it will help feel like you are about to go on normally with your workday. Also, wearing pajamas and still working normally is an advanced work from home mode, you are not ready for it yet. Or, maybe you are. You decide.
Either way, the whole point is to trick your mind into thinking you are actually going to work. Pajamas are “house” clothes. Sometimes the uncomfortable jeans and shirts can make you feel like you are back in the office.
P.S. if you wear your workout clothes to work anyways, then carry on, my salutations to you. You are winning at life.
Be social. Just online. For now.
We live in a world where we can easily virtually socialise. Utilise it. Hey, I am talking to you, you the party animal. Yes, people can have a brilliant time while being social online. (Of course, don’t be a troll)
Make time to call a friend or a family member or talk to someone from one of those dating apps. I don’t judge. But, have specific times when you do that. You remember that routine I talked about before, yeah that’s where you schedule this in. It is important to make sure you do not go to that point in life where the walls are your best friend. Been there, done that. It wasn’t pretty.
Okay, maybe this is a ‘me’ thing. I love looking out my window or balcony. I love people watching and bird watching and sometimes cow watching and doggos, yes lots of doggos. Especially if I have been sitting in one place or working on the same task for too long, I like to take a quick 5 or 10 minutes to take a break where I stare out and see what’s happening in the world outside of my window. I know for city dwellers, it is a bit tougher since there isn’t much to look at. But, try and find a happy place. Also, it makes me feel less alone. I feel like there is so much life out there, doing their own things and I am part of this much bigger thing.
This is something we should do all the time but we do not. Especially in India, I think almost all of us work extra hours we actually shouldn’t be. (Hey employers those extra hours don’t make or break anything, let people log off on time.) Also, those who think working extra hours means you are being more productive, ummm…no..if you cannot finish your work in 8 hours a day, you need to get more productive, buddy. (Here, I am only talking to those who shame others for finishing work on time or “early” and boast about working so much extra. Okay, so others relax)
Log off and make sure you do not log back in till it’s time for you too. Allocate specific times to check your work emails. Trust me it is very easy to think, okay I will just get this one thing done, it will take just 15 minutes to realise you have been working for 2 hours. This is where having a separate workspace comes handy. Log off, leave the room and you are done for the day.
Ahh…yes the nemesis. I avoid this as much as possible. Or, rather used to. Now, I try to incorporate some form of movement into my daily routine. It can be spot jogging or walking around the house or yoga or on really good days high-intensity workouts. There are plenty of workout routines on the interwebs, follow any one of them. And, make sure you schedule this in as well, especially before work if that works for you.
Okay, storytime. I was a lazy bum, I still am but less lazy-ish. So, yeah a few months ago I noticed that by the time it was time for my work hours to start (which was usually in the evenings) I was too tired, physically and mentally. So, someone suggested apples, apparently, they wake you up. No, they did not. I then started having coffee. Now, that was may have been the worst idea, because I immediately go to sleep after my work is over, so…the coffee would keep me up and then messed up my sleeping pattern. So, one day I decided to work out before starting work in an effort to see if that helps me feel motivated. Yes, it did. I felt happier, clearer and the lovely endorphins made me feel energetic and ready to tackle all the tasks. Since, then, l created mini workout sessions throughout my work hours. I try and do one big workout session just before starting work and then every 2-3 hours I spot jog for 10 minutes. It has made a huge difference. And, I am healthier as well.
Yes, this includes YouTube, Netflix, HULU, and Amazon Prime (you get the idea). Also, do not just sit on Bumble or Tinder or or or (oh man we have way too many apps nowadays) during your allocated work hours. I am not your boss but I can assure you, you will not get much work done. Humans cannot multi-task, no matter what the sci-fi movies say. In reality, we can only concentrate on one task at a time. Yes, many (including yours truly) can switch between tasks fast and easily but we switch, we do not do them all at the same time. So, basically stay off the phone till it’s time for you to socialise.
Oh man, this one might be my favourite tip. I love to listen to music while I work. It helps me concentrate and lightens up the mood. (I sometimes listen to audiobooks as well, but that’s a topic for another day) Depending on my mood either they are fun dance numbers, ghazals or a mix-taped situation. I love to blast it loud and sing along. Yes, karaoke time at 2 in the morning. (I am so happy we have no neighbours or this would have been a big no no.)
I get it humans are social animals, even for someone like me who rather stay in than go out, I go stir crazy sometimes. That one coffee outing a week or that grocery shopping time means a lot for me. So, if staying in is affecting you, reach out to someone. Be it someone personal or professional. Talk about what you are feeling. It is okay to do that. And, hey if I know you, reach out to me. If I don’t and you are reading this and need to talk to someone, email me. I do reply. Be nice and not creepy.
The times are tough. So, if you mess up something it’s okay. It really is okay. Not only now but in life. It is more important to learn from mistakes than to be hard on yourself for making one. And, your feelings are valid.
When I started working from home it was because of an ailment. I was not able to physically go out and work and sustain it. It had taken a huge toll on my mental health. I kept thinking I was failing at life. It took me some time to realise that is not true.
It is not normal to switch from what we are used to, to something we are not familiar with. Most of us have hectic routines of daily commutes and socialising and and and. Suddenly being forced to stay inside and suddenly having so much time can be a shock to the system. So, the one advice I will give you is take your time to adjust. Speak out if this is affecting you. Share what’s on your mind. I know I talked about privilege in the beginning. Yes, being able to keep working and having a sense of security is a form of privilege but that doesn’t mean you cannot feel helpless or lost or angry or sad. There is too much happening around us. The news is scary. It is okay to feel so many things and more.
These are unprecedented times but this too shall pass. For now, we can be kind to each other, help out in whatever ways you think is possible and stay inside.
Oh and WASH YOUR HANDS. (moisturise as well, they must be bone dry by now)
The days are rushing through me or maybe the other way round. I keep writing things, putting them in draft, think to myself “will update it in a few hours” and suddenly it’s five days after.
So, today was day 1 of beginner’s yoga. And, it kicked my well-rounded ass.
When I was younger I used to go to yoga classes regularly. I used to run on a daily basis and was interested in gymnastics. In simple terms, I was an active child and was ridiculously flexible.
31 year old me can barely move without making a bone crackling sound. And, I do not think it knows the word flexibility anymore.
I partly blame my laziness and partly blame my chronic pain.
For a little background, as I turned 18 I started experiencing excruciating pain all over my body especially on my right shoulder, arm, wrist, and upper neck area. I have been to many doctors and have been diagnosed with everything they could think of. I have gone through every single treatment that these doctors prescribed, some were beneficial on a short term basis and some just made things worse.
Anyway, you must be wondering what does this have to do with Yoga? Ahhhh, yes…so somebody had told me that yoga is really good for those suffering from chronic pain and I decided to go back to that in my early 20s. Well, go back I did but it turned out the timing (and teacher) was horrible. Not only was I taking a bad concoction of pain medicines prescribed by the doctor (which made me woozy and extra sensitive on an emotional and physical level) but the teacher I found didn’t believe that there is anything called chronic pain or that I should ease into things. Oh no, she was a go-getter. Go hard or don’t go!
“This is all in your head, you are just being lazy and not pushing yourself harder.”
Push harder is what I did and of course, the results weren’t pretty. I was almost immediately put off by the idea of yoga. And, for a long time, I would try and avoid conversations about it either. I have a very close friend who is a yoga teacher now. I know the benefits that come with yoga but that one horrible experience had stopped me from going back to trying it out again.
That is till today when I decided something needed to be done.
I recently have gone on a serious “get fit” journey. I have been walking as much as I can every day and do high-intensity training. This month I started following a plan for HIIT on an app called Nike Training Club. I am truly enjoying their sessions. But, I realised that though my pain is under control my body has become super stiff.
I am not able to do many of the exercises because of that. Of course, I was not ready to admit defeat, so I started doing what I do best, research.
Guess what everyone says online and off, about how to become more flexible? Do yoga!
So, today I decided I have to overcome this unreasonable fear and just finish one session. I mean that’s all it takes to convince me I guess!
It started off super awkward and I could barely move. But, I quickly picked it up. It was like my body slowly remembered all these movements from back when I was a regular. I know I will sound corny, but I felt at peace.
Yes, it was a minuscule achievement but I felt so happy to have been able to get over this fear. Yoga is really good for people with chronic pain and by avoiding it, I was doing more harm.
I rate my session today a solid 5/10 but hey as they say “one day at a time!”
Namaste!
So, yeah, this has been on my mind for a few years now. I have been trying to be a lot more aware of the things I use, wear and eat. I am by no means perfect. And, that is what I want to talk about.
I follow a lot of people online (YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, you name it I am there) who follow a zero-waste lifestyle and are vegan. I am neither. I am not proud of it but I have decided to be less embarrassed by it.
I recently realised there are a few things I have been doing for years without ever really realising that they were partly zero waste/vegan lifestyle. That made me think maybe if I continue them and slowly and steadily keep adding more to that list, wouldn’t that make more sense, instead of making myself feel horrible for not being able to do a lot more immediately?
I mean why do we need to make ourselves feel bad that we are not able to always do 100%. I know many will be against this idea, but I feel like doing even a little bit is better than not doing anything at all because you cannot always meet the standards set by others or even by you. I mean why does it have to be all or nothing?
Okay, for example, for a while now, I have been carrying a bottle of water with me everywhere I go. It started because throughout the day I tend to drink a lot of water and it is not available all the time. So, my handy dandy giant bottle became a permanent friend of mine. It goes where I go. I rarely buy plastic bottles of water if I can avoid it completely. Only if there is no way to fill up my bottle and I am dying of thirst will I opt for one. I have even started carrying a smaller bottle for bags that cannot fit my bigger bottle or for places that do not allow my awesome giant bottle. I actually cannot remember the last time I bought a bottle of water. It not only saves a ton of money (if that’s your motivation) but ‘em plastics too.
The next thing I want to talk about is my set of cutleries; a spoon, a fork, a pair of chopsticks and my metal straw with a silicon tip cover. I love them and carry them everywhere. (Yes, I know everyone is trying to cut down on straws and I feel like that’s great.) I have been using this set for a couple of years now and I find them convenient and hygienic as well. Of course, I don’t take them out if I am at a restaurant that provides proper forks and spoons.
The deodorant bar is my next favourite thing. I am a stinker. I mean I sweat a lot. Hence, I used a lot of deodorants, the can kind. I read somewhere that natural deodorants are much better for people with active sweat glands. So, after very little research I found Lush carries a deodorant bar. I was curious and I got it. It’s been almost 7/8 months since I got it and I still have half of it left. So, I can easily use it for another 5/6 months. So, basically I will be using one deodorant bar instead of 12 of those one time use cans. (Yes I used to go through one of those cans a month). And, yes it does make me smell less bad. I noticed it after a month and so did my mother. I am never going back to any other form of deodorants.
Since we are on the topic of bars, shampoo bars are my next mention. I love them. Absolutely in love. I have been using shampoo bars since 2017 and I love them. The ones I usually use are again from Lush. They feel and smell so good and I love the fact that there is no packaging to throw afterward. Since, coming back to Kolkata, I have been looking out for local brands since my little stack is slowly diminished. Maybe in another blog soon I will mention the ones I liked.
My next go-to is bamboo toothbrushes. Yes, the easily available ones are with nylon bristles and that has bothered me for a while but that is much better than the plastic ones, right? I found one company in India that makes castor oil bristles that have the least amount of nylon and I will be trying them out soon. I love bamboo brushes because you can easily use the bamboo-part of it once you are done using it for brushing. My mom needs sticks as support for her plants and these come in handy.
I have a couple of other swaps that I have made in my life which have helped reduce my waste by a lot. But, as I said I am not perfect.
The makeup and the night cream I use come in thick plastic bottles. I always try to find a secondary use for them but well they are still there staring at me, making me feel bad about buying them. I am always on an active lookout for sustainable swaps which won’t harm my extra sensitive skin. (If you know any let me know)
Take outs; this is my guilty pleasure. This is not only bad for the environment but my health as well. Since I have been on a health journey I have stopped ordering in as much as I used to but still, it’s not that good. Again in our house, almost all takeaway containers have some secondary use.
Okay, now let’s talk about food.
I love food. As a Bengali, I have always known a non-vegetarian diet to be the norm. If you do not have fish daily you are a disgrace to the Bengali name. On top of that for the past few years, I have been in the US on and off (I even lived there for about 2 years) and I was exposed to a lot of meat-eating. I was on the Keto diet for a while and from my initial learnings, I understood I had to eat a lot of meat. And, that’s what I did.
I am back on the Keto diet but this time I have researched a lot. I mean a lot. I now know that one can easily be on a healthy Keto diet while being mostly plant-based. Yes, I said mostly because I still eat chicken and eggs. And, cheese. (Other some other meats when I eat out/order in -_-)
Recently I was talking to a friend of mine who is Vegan and I was telling him how ashamed I feel that I am not 100% plant-based. He told me something that I have since been exposed to a lot more thanks to many youtube videos, the simple fact that incorporating even a few plant-based meals is much better than not doing anything at all. Remember the all or nothing mentality I mentioned before? Yup, it’s better to incorporate some vegan options in your diet and life than to do nothing at all.
I have been consciously trying to have at least one meal that completely plant-based, and some days I try to make sure all my meals are plant-based. I am constantly trying to figure out ways to swap my regular and favourite foods with their plant-based options.
Now, I can go on about this and most probably I will in the future but this is all I have to say for now. These thoughts have been on my mind for months and I just wanted to share them. I do not want hate or love by sharing this but I just wanted to share that even small steps help in the bigger cause. Small changes matter and each one of us can do it.
Please share your own experiences, thoughts, and tips.
Money is a strange thing,
The runs the world,
And, runs me too.
Somehow, it always runs away,
From me, I don 't know why,
Or, have no clue!
I am not Rich,
I am not Poor,
I always seem to have enough,
But, always seem to need more.
Now, let me budget a little,
To save for tomorrow,
So, I can be a little more happy,
And, have little less sorrow!
Tata!
No, I am not living either life. I am not vegan, I am not really minimalistic (though I personally do not own a lot of things), and I do not live a zero waste life. But, I want to adopt all of the above and also live a green and environmentally sustainable life!
For a while now, I have been thinking how I can be more productive and useful to the world. I also want to be a lot more conscious about my footprint here. I want to leave the world a lot better than I received it.
I do not believe in labels at all, be it for sexuality or life choices. But, recently I have been reading up a lot on Zero Waste, Veganism, Environmental Sustainability and Minimalist life choices.
Each one of them has aspects which appeal to my very core in one way or the other.
I have realised that I am a hypocrite. In the true sense of the word. I am a hypocrite without realising.
I will explain that in the following points:
A. Let's start with Veganism today:
I say that I love animals. I truly do. I think animals are far superior to human beings. People are selfish, and one species is destroying more of the planet than all of the other species combined.
We are not only destroying our planet and home but others' too. But, having said that, I have realised that I do not give all animals equal respect.
I have always been against leather and other animal products. I do not own anything leather, and I use products which are animal cruelty-free. But, that is the extent of my love for animals it seems.
Recently in India, there was a huge debate about a certain sport where bulls were being used (or rather abused) as part of it. There was a huge uproar about the sport getting shut down.
I felt disgusted when I thought so many people supports animal cruelty. I mean how can they? How can you use animals as a sport? Etc etc. etc....
But, then a thought struck me. I eat meat and fish and eggs and milk. I am abusing animals as much as these people are. I honestly do not think I have the right to point out to others what I do in my life.
I mean okay maybe I do not personally kill a chicken, but it is still being killed somewhere, for me! Then, how am I better? I may not be a conscious murderer, but I still am one.
The thought made me think, a lot more than I had anticipated. I am a Bengali, and our staple diet is Rice and Fish Curry. I have known the taste of animal products since I was six months old. I practically live on animal products (now not so much).
I will not deny it; I love eating meat and eggs. And, this very thought makes me sick and disturbed. Over the years, I have noticed that every time I think about eating non-vegetarian my soul feels like it is dying a little bit.
But, the past few weeks, this has been a constant thought. I cannot be an animal lover by loving a dog but being perfectly okay with butchering a chicken. I know all the arguments for and against eating non-vegetarian, the food pyramid, etc., etc. etc....and now my brain feels so messed up. It is like I am constantly having an internal debate.
Now, I will be honest I do not eat as much non-vegetarian as I used to before and somewhat I am losing the love for it too. But, deep down I feel like being a Non-vegetarian has become a part of my identity. I know it sounds rather strange and like an excuse. But, that's the truth. For Bengalis Food is a religion and not eating Fish (or mutton) is like losing a part of you.
But, I feel I am making excuses, but then I feel if I continue the way I live I am still a hypocrite. Maybe, I should say I love some animals as pets and the others as food. Perhaps, at least that way, I am not lying to myself or others. But, does that solve the issue? Sigh!
I honestly do feel that if I go veg, I will go full vegan. But, I also feel if I quit cold turkey, I will definitely relapse. Wow, I make it sound like an addiction. (A friend had recently told me how it is an addiction.)
Well, for now, I can decrease my consumption of animal products and by-products. One day at a time. I am writing this today not as a piece to give others hope or lectures in becoming a Vegan. I think to each their own. I would never push my thoughts on others, and I expect the same from others. You don't need to agree with me, just don't bash my ideas because I feel they are legitimate, even if you don't.
I am genuinely torn in between on this subject, and I would love to have this debate till I can maybe find a solution that works for me. I think this will be a journey that I have to take it to find me and also to find my purpose. (I am honestly not trying to sound philosophical, it is just my current state of mind!!!)
I have a few more thoughts on this, but for now, I think I will go and sit down somewhere and let this mental war play out for a bit. I feel like I am one human with too many contradictions!
[I know I might be taking a lot more on my plate than I should, but I believe everything goes together, each supports the other. I am setting a goal for me, and I will try to achieve that, but in the meantime, I do not want to be as blind to the issues as I have been till now. That is the whole point of these blogs, to see on (virtual) paper the thoughts I have and find ways to implement them.]
[Note: To Be Continued...on this topic and others...]
Tata!
Well, I am super happy and super sad today, happy because I got a perfect score on my test. I am doing an online certificate in marketing and innovation from Stanford, and this is the first course I got a perfect score. I have been hovering in the early 90s for a while. So, yeah small joys of life! :)
I am sad because this week has been a disaster exercise and food wise. I have not eaten right and not exercised well, and it shows in my weigh in today.
I will just put my numbers in and call it a day and just try to enjoy the little success I got today.
Tata!
Weight: 87.6 Kgs
Body Fat: 50%
BMI: Obese Class 2
Lean Mass: 43.45 Kgs
Neck: 14.80 Inches
Shoulders: 48 Inches
Chest: 45 Inches
Waist: 44.20 Inches
Hips: 46.20 Inches
Bicep L: 13.20 Inches
Forearm L: 9.8 Inches
Bicep R: 12.70 Inches
Forearm: 9.8 Inches
Thigh L: 27.8 Inches
Calf L: 15.40 Inches
Thigh R: 28.2 Inches
Calf R: 14.70 Inches
When I first saw you,
You were a little baby,
Now, look at you,
You are a grown lady.
You have your own thoughts,
And, you own desires,
You will soon be breaking a lot of hearts,
And, putting out fires.
I cannot wish for much,
But, I only wish for this,
That may you always be happy, lucky,
And, live a life of Bliss!
Happy Birthday little sister. May God Bless you with good health, good sense and good luck! :)
[Today is my cousin sister's birthday! She turned 18 today. When I first saw her, I was 11! Oh man, how time flies!]
